THERE IS NO BELIEF WITHOUT UNBELIEF
Sanah Ahsan
the qibla points me to a shin-sized
bin against a wall
a brown-spotted banana tongue is
spilling from repletion and
a blood clot the size of a goldfish
passes between my legs still
i kneel bare-headed & unwudud at
the janamaz three hours late for fajr auditioning for
approval from my god who hasn’t
washed between their toes in days
the unbelief is swelling in my belly
i pray it is stillborn but it rushes out with ten
tiny fingers and ten tinier toes
wailing with holy life
god scoops it up rocking until
our terror becomes the melody we both sing