& by seagull I mean a seagull hanging dead from the bay window

& by room I mean a community centre in Croydon

& by seagull I mean scarce & dwindling resources

& by room I mean the side streets of long-promised renewal

by scarcity I mean abandoned luxury developments

by renewal I mean anarchist gardening initiatives

by developments I mean multiple co-morbidities

by gardening I mean a good death

by comorbidities I mean the Big Bad feeling

by good I mean my stomach, or I mean my heart

by Big Bad I mean off milk power-hosed over a landing strip

by heart I mean my small wheels tucked away ready for flight

by off-milk I mean my continued failure to quit smoking

by flight I mean my breathing steady at the edge of the hill

by failure I mean a new variant of cowardice

by breathing I mean radical empathy

by cowardice I mean this public square flooded with the corpses of anglerfish

by empathy I mean t-shirt guns of good intentions fired into the crowd

by corpses I mean this cargo truck full of wasps

by good intentions I mean my eyes off the road

I mean I can’t stop loving you or believing in the enduring kindness of others

I mean my heart, or I mean my stomach

I mean I’m naked as bone, shovelling myself with soil

I mean this low-lying terrain, connection of two points, this archway, this viaduct